That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
