Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
