Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
