Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
