i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
