mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
