smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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