what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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