We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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