What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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