It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I AM VODKA MAN
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
