eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
