I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
