he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
