I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
