He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
