end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
