the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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