Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
