The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
