we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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