my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
