youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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