what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
