I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
