My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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