Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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