I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
