Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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