fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
