I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
