So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
