I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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