someone threw a dead crab at me
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
