It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
