just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
