It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
