just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
