Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!

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(818): View more from California

She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"

(1-864): View more from South Carolina

as in "white"?

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(845): View more from New York

i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets

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(254): View more from Texas

There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.

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(517): View more from Michigan

passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.

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