i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
