My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Randomize
