so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
