so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
