that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
