I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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