you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
