fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
