Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
vagina is talking i cant
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
