either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
