Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
