So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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