can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
