screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
