I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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