I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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