you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
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