i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Randomize
