Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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