Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
