Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
