Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Randomize
