Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
