you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
