guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
