i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
