I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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